MOST RIDICULOUS PERSON NOMINEES
YOUR PLACE TO VIEW PREVIOUS WEEK NOMINEES FOR "THE MOST RIDICULUOUS PERSON IN THE WORLD"
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Brittney Spears.....once again!
Oops..she did it again! Didn't she have a song title something like that? This lady (loose term) just cannot get it going in the right direction; it is truly amazing to watch this train wreck taking place. Now divorced with 2 small children (I guess we should say..parttime according to the court), Ms. Spears is headed for total psychological breakdown and a possible future suicide. She has practically destroyed her singing and stage career in the past several months; her last show revealed a somber, overweight Brittney which was far from being attractive. Yet, another childhood star, pushed by ambitious parents, who has totally derailed in front of "we can't get enough" watchers. Good luck Brittney, you are going to need it.
KIM JONG IL, President of North Korea
For being the only world leader with suicidal thoughts by thinking that he can threaten the world with nuclear weapons and get away with it! Now that is a ridiculuous (or at least nutty) person!
MICHAEL CHERTOFF, Secretary, U.S. Department of Homeland Security
The Secretary presides over a department responsible for immigration services (a mess); border protection (a mess); and federal emergency management assistance (a mess). How could one person be in charge of so many messes without any solutions? He has to feel ridiculous!
LEE RAYMOND, Chairman/CEO of Exxon Mobil Oil Company (1999 to 2005)
For telling the American people how difficult it was to keep gasoline prices low because of the dependence on foreign oil. Exxon Mobil earned $10.36 Billion in the 2nd quarter 2006, which was the second largest quarterly profit in history for a U.S. company. Exxon Mobil also took first place in 2005. His salary package was $42 Million in 2005. He received a retirement and severance package of $400 Million in Janauary 2006 when he retired. While Americans are paying over $3.00 per gallon for gas each day, he must feel a little ridiculous! But maybe that is why he is smiling?
MEL GIBSON, movie actor, producer and director
A well known and respected American celebrity who managed to get drunk, resist arrest and insult the entire Jewish community throughout the country all in one night. Now that is truly a ridiculuous accomplishment!
MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, President of Iran
The man responsible for the past, current and upcoming future problems in the Middle East. This man is not only ridiculuous, he is definitely dangerous!
JOHN MARK KARR, Murder Suspect of JonBenet Ramsey
A man who recently confessed to the murder of this young child who he may have never even known except in his own fantasy world. Now that is ridiculuous or at least crazy!
DONALD THOMPSON, Oklahoma District Judge
Former judge for over 23 years was convicted of repeatedly exposing himself and using a penis pump under his robes to masturbate while presiding over jury trials. I hope he was having fun under the robe. Now that is definitely ridiculuous!
MICHAEL TRACEY, Professor, University of Colorado
He has produced three documentaries on the Ramsey case and is working on a book. Professor Tracey was primarily responsible for being totally "sucked in" by a sick minded, child stalker named John Mark Karr, who had nothing to do with the death of JonBenet. Tracey's four-year correspondence with Karr, by e-mail and telephone, is what led Boulder County district attorney's investigators to track Karr to Thailand, bring him back to Boulder and arrest him on a murder warrant in the 1996 slaying. The case disintegrated when DNA tests showed Karr could not be the killer.
Now, that is ridiculous!
Paris Hilton
Paris was arrested for possible drunk driving during the early morning hours of 7 September. She says she was just going out in her 1/2 million dollar car to buy a burger. This "lady" can find more ways to keep her "career" going..I guess the blonde hair, long legs, and pretty smile are not enough. Oh, I forgot..and talent!
Marion Barry - former "Mayor for Life" in Washington, D.C.
Troubles continue to plague former Washington D.C. mayor Marion Barry. The D.C. Council member (D-Ward 8) was pulled over early Sunday (9/10) for running a red light, then detained and ticketed by the Secret Service after alcohol was detected on his breath. Tom Mazur, spokesman for the Secret Service, said Barry's car ran a red light at 16th and H streets NW. The officers gave him a field sobriety test, and later a breathalyzer test after taking him to the U.S. Capitol Police station. Due to problems with the breathalyzer, Barry was asked to submit to a urine analysis, which he refused. Barry was then ticketed for running a red light and failing to submit to a urine analysis, the spokesman said. The 70-year-old politician said he was released later Sunday with a citation, and believes he was the victim of racial profiling because all the officers involved in the incident are white. The former four-term mayor accused federal authorities of trying to "embarrass and discredit me."
The police don't need to embarrass Mr. Barry, he does it so well just by himself. Just look at some of these more famous quotes from him:
"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
"Bitch set me up." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
"I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
"I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?" -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC
Now, thats ridiculous!
BILL O'REILLY, "The O'Reilly Factor", Fox News Television
The conservative talk show host, known for his controversial and often self-righteous commentary, recently announced that he had been advised by the FBI that al Qaeda had placed him on a death list. Why would be anyone's guess. Neither the FBI or even Fox News itself would confirm it. It is hard to believe that al Qaeda would be watching this cable talk show or even know or care who O'Reilly is. He is simply a talk show host. Nothing more and nothing less. To think otherwise, some might say is delusional. Others might just say he is truly ridiculous!
GEORGE ALLEN, U.S. Senator, Virginia
This week, during a senator campaign rally in Virginia, Allen created quite an uproar when he was caught on film calling his opponent's volunteer a "macaca". The volunteer, who was actually a college student of Indian descent, was there to follow and film Allen's campaign activities. The volunteer was the only person of color in a rally attended by over 100 white Republican supporters. When Allen spotted the student he yelled out from the stage "Let's give a welcome to "macaca" here....welcome to America and the real world of Virginia".
"Macaca", which means monkey, was a common racial slur against Africans used by European colonists in African countries. Allen has apologized for the comment stating that he did not intend any racial slur against the student. Allen's excuse was that he had never heard the term "macaca", had no knowledge of what the word meant, and had simply made up the word since he did not know the student's name. Unfortunately for Allen, it is hard to believe that someone would just makeup such a word especially when his mother was a French national who grew up in French colonial Tunisia where the word was commonly used. What a coincidence?
Senator Allen, who was also the former state governor, was considered a highly likely Republican candididate for president in the 2008 election. The key words here may be "was considered"! The rally incident has started massive press coverage and inquiries into Allen's possible racial prejudices throughout his life. True or not the perception could very well be a political killer.
It is amazing how an individual can go from being a future presidential candidate to not even sure if he will be re-elected as the U.S. Senator because of "hoof in mouth" disease. He must truly feel ridiculuous!
MARK FOLEY, Florida Republican Congressman
Congressman Foley resigned this week from the U.S. Congress and immediately checked into an undisclosed rehabilitation center. The resignation came amidst a scandal when it became public that Foley had sent sexually suggestive email and instant messages to underage male high school students serving as Congressional pages. A full investigation into Foley's conduct regarding the student pages has been initiated. Upon his resignation, Foley announced through his attorney that he was a homosexual; he had been sexually abused as a young man by a church clergyman; and that he currently suffers from alcoholism. He failed to mention that he obviously suffers from extremely poor judgment!
Foley served as a Florida congressman from 1995 - 2006. He was known as an advocate against child pornography, sexual exploitation of children and other sexual predator issues. As a member of the Republican House leadership, Foley served as Co-Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing & Exploited Children.
Ridiculuous? NO! Shocking and disturbing? YES!
PERVEV MUSHARRAF, President of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan
President Musharraf recently published a book entitled "In the Line of Fire" regarding his presidency and the war on terrorism. During a press conference with President Bush he deferred certain questions by stating you would have to read the book. To publicize sales, Musharraf has gone on a book tour within the United States to include an appearance on the Jon Stewart comedy show "The Daily Show". While on the show in reponse to a question as to whether Bush or Usam bin Laden would win a popularity election in Pakistan, Musharraf responded with laughter that neither would win. Musharraf is probably the first head of state in the world to ever write and publish his memoirs while still in office. Maybe he should be more concerned with his role in the war on terrorism than his role as a new writer! He truly has looked ridiculuous!
O.J. SIMPSON, Former Football Celebrity and Murder Suspect
It has been reported that O.J. Simpson has been offerred $3.5 million to write a book regarding the murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman. The book may be titled "If I Did It." in which Simpson writes a hypothetical story about the murders. Simpson was found not guilty in his criminal trial for the double murders, but later civilly convicted for his actions. For him to write a book about these events would be unbelievable! For anyone to buy the book would truly be ridiculuous!
RUSH LIMBAUGH, Conservative Radio Talk Show Host
Often known for his outrageous and ridiculuous commentary on many political and social issues, Limbaugh out did himself this week when he personally attacked celebrity Michael J. Fox. Fox, who suffers from severe Parkinson's Disease, which effectively ended his acting career, had appeared in a commercial supporting a Democratic candidate by advocating the need for embryonic stem cell research. Limbaugh criticized Fox as "exagerating the effects of the disease....he's moving all around and shaking, and it's purely an act". Limbaugh further observed that Fox was "either off his medication or acting" and that Fox was "really shameless" in his effort to stir up sympathy for himself regarding the stem cell research issue. The only person in this matter who qualifies as "really shameless" is Rush Limbaugh himself.
JOHN KERRY, U.S. Senator, Massachusetts--Democrat
Senator Kerry, the former Democratic Party nominee for President, attempted to make a joke criticizing President Bush at a recent campaign rally before an audience of college students in California. However, Senator Kerry messed up the punch line by ad-lib in lieu of reading the written script and came off sounding like he was criticizing American military troops.
Senator Kerry said "Education, you know, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq." What Senator Kerry was supposed to say "I can't overstress the importance of a great education. Do you know where you end up if you don't study, if you aren't smart, if you're intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in Iraq."
It is amazing when a major political party leader becomes ill with "foot in mouth" disease just days from major national elections and potentially does more harm than good to fellow candidates across the country. He has now inadvertently become the poster boy for the Republicans as to why voters should not vote for Democrats. He must truly feel ridiculuous!
Pastor Ted Haggard
Well, the pastor did sin and has now repented having sex with at least one male escort; who surfaced the hypocrisy that Haggard was preaching to his flock at the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Haggard, whose followers dearly loved him, frequently preached about the sin of homosexuality and even more frequently discussed the importance of family values with President Bush. Unfortunately, he got caught with his pants down around his ankles and God only knows what else might have happened; the purchase and use of crystal meth has been mentioned. He is now in "rehab" but not with former U.S. Representative Mark Foley of Florida, who was alledgedly courting young congressional male pages. Don't look for Haggard to be preaching any time soon as he tries to get his life back on the right track.
MARTHA STEWART, Business Executive and Television Celebrity
Martha Stewart recently agreed to pay $5 Million of her own finances in a $30 Million civil class action lawsuit against her company, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, by former investors regarding her deceptive practices in the insider trading matter regarding ImClone stock which caused their investments to plunge. The rest will be paid by her billion dollar company and insurers. Stewart formerly served 6 months in prison for false statements, obstruction of justice and conspiracy regarding the insider trading of 3,928 shares of the ImClone stock when she learned that it's experimental cancer drug might not be approved by the FDA.
This must be one of the worst stock trades in history considering her trade of the 3,928 shares at the time saved her only approximately $45,673 in stock value loss. To the ordinary person, a lot of money. To a multi-millionaire, pocket change. Bad judgment? Greed? Arrogance? $5 Million to save $45, 673? Not good business. She must truly feel ridiculuous!
Mr. Michael Richards, comedian and former star of the "Seinfeld" series for losing control while performing his comedy act. While being heckled by three unruly African-Americans, Richards used the "N" word on several occasions while issuing adverse remarks toward them. Mr. Richards did take immediate action to try to salvage his career by quickly apologizing and entering treatment for anger management. He also appeared with Rev. Jessie Jackson on Jackson's national radio show. Okay, let him come down from his cross and get on with his life! Michael..remember..the customer is always right! Please go see the master -- Don Rickles. You must feel ridiculous for your out burst.
Rosie O'Donnell
Rosie gets the award this week. I don't recall but she may be our first repeat winner. Rosie made an ugly attack against Donald Trump because he gave the current Miss America a "second chance" because she engaged in some underage drinking. Wow, big deal but Rosie thought Miss America was not entitled to that second opportunity to correct a mistake. Rosie would be better off losing some weight like Donald suggested in his direct reply to her remarks. Rosie -- you should feel ridiculous. Please find other ways to get ratings!
DONALD TRUMP, NYC Based Real Estate Developer & Celebrity
Last weeks' nominee of Rosie O'Donnel must be balanced out this week with the nomination of the other person, Donald Trump. For a man who calls himself one of the toughest and smartest businessmen in the country and who classifies himself as very sophisticated and worldly, his reaction to Rosie O'Donnel's comments could only be characterized as immature, childish and absolutely nasty. You have to wonder who is really looking for the publicity? Shame on you Mr. Trump--you made yourself look like a fool! You must truly feel ridiculuous!
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PAT ROBERTSON, Evengelical Minister, Christian Broadcasting Network CEO and Chancellor of Regents University
Pat Robertson recently predicted that in late 2007 the United States would suffer a massive terrorist attack effecting millions of people and major cities. This attack would come sometime after September 2007. The amazing fact is that the information, according to Robertson, came to him directly from God. Robertson further stated that he was not saying the attack would be nuclear since God did not tell him exactly how it would take place. Pat Robertson, who was a former Republican presidential candidate in 1988, is also well known for being one of the architects of the moral majority and religious right conservative lobbying groups such as the Christian Coalition.
This message is just one of many predictions in the past by Robertson based on information received directly from God. Ridiculuous? Yes! The millions of viewers and listeners to his televison broadcasts? Scary!
President George Bush
Mr. Bush gets the award this week for not recognizing the fact that the "house is on fire and there is no water to put it out!" President Bush's speech this week clearly indicates that he does not understand what is happening in Iraq and the Middle East. Sending more troops into Iraq is an escalation of the conflict and clearly indicates that the policies of the past 3 years have been totally ineffective. Mr. Bush is sad and beaten up on this historical matter. It is unfortunate that more Americans will die for a country which does not care enough to carry the burdeon of its own freedom. This whole matter has been a big mistake, starting with "it was a slaw dunk!"
BILL O'REILLY, Fox TV News Show Host
This is O'Reilly's second nomination for this award. He has often been a close competitor for the nomination in previous weeks throughout the year. O'Reilly, who believes that he is the self-appointed guardian of American values and standards, has become increasingly delusional on how important he is in America. His favorite phrase "I'm looking out for you" should be rewritten as "I'm looking out for me". Regarding this week's top story of the kidnapping and return of 15 year old Shawn Hornbeck in Missouri, O'Reilly speculated that there was much more to this story. He inferred that maybe the child, who had been held hostage for 4 years, liked being away from his family and questioned why the boy did not try to escape. O'Reilly explained that he was not alleging any misconduct "just asking questions", which is another way of saying I have no facts so let me just throw out some seeds of doubt on this family to smear their character and reputation. O'Reilly should never be confused with a journalist. To do so would truly be ridiculuous!
THE AMERICAN NEWS MEDIA
For the past two weeks, the television and newspapers have been filled with non-stop coverage of every angle imaginable regarding the death of Anna Nicole Smith in Hollywood, Florida. The death of Smith was a tragic event as with anyone's unexpected death. However, the media made her death more of a circus act than a tragedy. Cable news, such as FOX, MSNBC and CNN, were the biggest violators with their 24/7 coverage of every aspect and family member and friend involved. Smith died and deserved to be properly placed to rest. The American News Media made sure that it would not be done with any dignity. They should definitely feel ridiculuous for her and us!
LISA MARIE NOWAK, U.S. NAVY OFFICER & ASTRONAUT
Nowak is a Captain in the U.S. Navy. She graduated from the U.S. Navy Academy and became a Naval Flight Officer and test pilot. She earned both a bachelor and master degree in aeronautical engineering. She eventually was assigned to NASA as an astronaut and flew on the space shuttle in July 2006. She is married with three children. In February 2007, she drove nonstop from Texas to Orlando, Florida wearing a diaper to preclude stoppping for rest breaks to find and confront Air Force Captain Coleen Shipman. Shipman and Nowak both had a romantic interest and relationship with another NASA astronaut. Out of jealously and rage, Nowak allegedly intended to kidnap and murder Coleen Shipman. Nowak was arrested and eventually charged with "attempted kidnapping with intent to do bodily harm". She has pled not guilty and awaiting trial. NASA recently fired her from the astronaut program and she has returned to duty with the U.S. Navy. Her continued career with the U.S. Navy will be highly unlikely.
To ruin her career and end her marriage over a "love triangle" must make her feel totally ridiculuous! What a waste!
JOHN E. COUEY, Murderer and Rapist
John E. Couey, 48 years old, and former resident of Homosassa, Florida. Couey broke into a neighbors house in February 2005 and abducted a young girl which he kept at his mobile home located only 100 yards from the girl's house. For three days he kept her hostage and repeatedly raped her. Couey then placed her into a double garbage bag and buried her alive. The child was 9 years old. Couey was convicted in March 2007of murder, rape and kidnapping and awaits final sentencing after jury recommendation of death. To call this man, or anyone like him, a human being is truly ridiculuous. Couey is a vicious animal who preys on the young and weak. The death penalty would be too quick and humane. Life imprisonment as a child molester and murderer would be a far better and harsh sentence for this animal!
BAN Ki-MOON, United Nations Secretary General
This week Ban Ki-Moon paid a visit to Iraq to meet with the Iraq Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki in Baghdad. Both men held a news conference in a "secure" building within the heavily protected and generally safe Green Zone within the city of Baghdad. During the press conference, the UN Secretart General announced that he would consider expanding UN presence in Iraq since the security situation had obviously improved. As Prime Minister al-Maliki nodded in approval, a mortar attack exploded immediately outside the building as Ban Ki-Moon briefly ducked for cover and was visibly shaken by the surprise explosion. The Prime Minister tried to explain that everything was alright until officials abruptly ended the conference and escorted the two officials out of the area.
Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon had to surely feel ridiculous in assessing the newly improved Iraq security. Oh well, as they say, timing is everything!
MONICA M. GOODLING, U.S. Department of Justice Official
Goodling, who is the chief liaison officer for the U.S. Department of Justice with the White House, declined to testify this week before the Senate Judiciary Committee regarding the firing of eight U.S. Attorneys throughout the nation. The Senate Judiciary Committee is investigating if the firings were based on probes into public corruption cases and meant to stop the investigations by sending a message to prosecutors not to target Republicans. If true, both the White House and the Attorney General would be in a very embarrassing scandal.
Goodling, who may be subpoenaed to appear as to her personal knowledge of the matter, notified the Senate that she would decline to answer questions based on her Fifth Amendment right against self incrimination. What? A high level Department of Justice official is refusing to testify based on the Fifth Amendment. Goodling is not only acting ridiculuous but has definitely become a major embarrassment to the Attorney General of the United States!
JAMES WEBB, U.S Senator, Democrat, Virginia
He expressed support for a top aide caught with a handgun in a Senate office building but shed little light on his role in what he described as an "unfortunate" situation. Webb declined to confirm what the aide, Phillip Thompson, told authorities after he was taken into custody. Webb did admit that the gun belongs to himself and that his aide was "safekeeping" it for him. Webb said that a mix-up was to blame for the episode but that he could not provide details because Thompson faces criminal charges. Webb commented "I think this is one of those very unfortunate situations where, completely inadvertently, he (Thompson) took the weapon into the Senate yesterday." Hey Senator Webb, you should feel ridiculous about your aide facing a possible gun felony charge (which won't happen) but you really should seize the high ground on this issue...Americans love their guns, especially in Virginia. Scream it loud and proud!
DON "THE I-MAN" IMUS, Radio & TV Talk Show Host
Don Imus, who has been a radio and television talk show host and national celebrity for over 30 years, was recently fired from his syndicated CBS radio show and his morning show on MSNBC cable television. Imus, well known for his controversial opinions and often "shock jock" commentary, had an audience of millions of people and was very influential regarding current political and social issues. What happened? In what appeared to be a casual conversation regarding the success of the Rutgers University Women's Basketball Team, Imus commented that these women were really a tough crew sporting tattoos and "what a bunch of nappy haired hos" to play ball against!
Since the Rutgers University team was composed primarily of Afro-American women the comments created an outrage amongst civil rights leaders as well as other citizens. Radio and television corporate sponsors began to cancell their commercials. Imus attempted numerous apologies for his remarks, to include a personal appearance before the Rutgers University team; however it was too late. Imus, with all his years of experience, had been stricken with "foot in mouth" disease, should have known better, and lost his career for it! He must be truly feeling ridiculuous!
MICHAEL NIFONG, District Attorney, Durham County, North Carolina
District Attorney Nifong made national headlines when he investigated and indicted three students at Duke University on rape charges of a stripper at a fraternity party. He made further headlines when it became apparent to all that he had no evidence to prosecute the students but failed to drop the charges. The case involved a Black female allegedly raped multiple times by the three White students. The case began in March 2006 and did not end until April 2007 after the North Carolina Attorney General took over the case from Nifong's office. The Attorney General branded Nifong as a "rogue prosecutor" who made the students victims of his "tragic rush to accuse". The Attorney General not only dropped all charges but also pronounced the students innocent. It was alleged by some community members that Nifong was using the case to help his upcoming reelection in a highly populated black community.
To continue criminal charges based on no evidence against these students for over a year is the worst example of prosecutive misconduct. The students not only were suspended from the college, but they and their families endured tremendous torment and expense while facing the charges. For Nifong to continue as District Attorney would indeed be ridiculuous. For Nifong not to be disbarred as a practicing attorney and not brought up on charges himself would be even more ridiculuous!
Senator John McCain and Senator Harry Reid
These distinguished senators share this week's award for making insensitive statements in regards to the war in Iraq. First, Senator McCain, a war hero of the Vietnam War, broke out into song after an audience question regarding the aggressiveness of Iran during a political rally. As he took the stage, he said "do you remember that old Beach Boys song of "bomb,bomb,bomb...bomb a-Iran...". Not good Senator McCain. This will not help your campaign to replace George W. Bush. Now, Senator Harry Reid of Nevada. During a speech (of some sort), a senior Democratic senator used the phrase..."the war is lost.." He needs to chose his words more carefully and be sensitive to those families with members still fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan; even if the senator is right in his analysis of the outcome.
DEBORAH JEANE PALFREY, Washington D.C. Madam
Palfrey was arrested and charged with operating a major prostitution ring based in the Washington D.C. area under the name Pamela Martin & Associates. She will be prosecuted for racketeering and money laundering involving over $2 Million in revenue over 13 years. She hired over 130 "escorts" to service many high profile customers, which may include government, military and business officials. She released 46 pounds of phone records to ABC News which she says will reveal the names of former and current customers. Palfrey may not feel ridiculuous but her list of customers may when and if the names are released!
THE PARLIAMENT OF IRAQ
Starting in July, the Iraqi Parliament, the governing legislative body in Iraq, has decided to go on a two month "summer break". The decision was made in spite of requests from the U.S. Government not to do so, to include a personal visit by Vice-President Cheney. How does a government in crisis with a country whose continued stability and very existence remains in question decide to take a "summer break"? In response to the criticism, Mahmoud al-Mashhadani, the parliament speaker, stated that Iraq was a sovereign government responsible for its own affairs. When U.S. troops are in the midst of fighting and dying for an independent and free Iraq, it is unimaginable that the Iraq governing body would be so irresponsible. You have to question their desire and will for success! It is not only ridiculuous, it is irresponsible and absurd! Can you imagine our founding fathers deciding to take a "break" during the American Revolutionary War?
ALBERTO GONZALES & ANDREW CARD, U.S. Government Officials
In March 2004, Alberto Gonzales, then the White House Cousel and presently the Attorney General, and Andrew Card, the former White House Chief of Staff, made a sudden evening visit to the hospital to see Attorney General John Ashcroft. Attorney General Ashcroft was recuperating in the intensive care unit after a major gall bladder surgery. While sick, Ashcroft had appointed his assistant James Comey as Acting Attorney General. The National Security Agency's domestic surveillance program needed the approval of the Department of Justice before it expired. When Acting Attorney General Comey refused to appove the continuation of the program, Gonzales and Card went to the hospital that evening in a sudden and surprise visit in an attempt to get the ailing Ashcroft to sign the approving documents.
Comey heard about the surprise visit and rushed to the hospital with sirens blasting in order to beat Gonzales and Card to the hospital room. Comey called the FBI Director, who told his agents not to allow Comey to be removed from the hospital room under any circumstances. When Gonzales and Card arrived, Comey was already there sitting with Ashcroft in the hospital room. Ashcroft refused to sign the documents because he objected to the secret surveillance program and also cited that Comey was the Acting Attorney General while he was sick in the hospital. Gonzales and Card left very upset and angry. President Bush subsequently intervened the next day by meeting with Comey and allowing him to make changes to the secret surveillance program which met Department of Justice legality criteria.
Comey testified before Congress this week stating "I was very upset. I was angry. I thought I had just witnessed an effort to take advantage of a very sick man....".
Sounds like a very bad remake of "The Godfather". However, instead of Marlon Brando and Al Pacino in the leading roles, it unfortunately occurred starring our current Attorney General of the United States and the then Chief of Staff to President Bush. Both men should feel totally ridiculuous for their actions. Don't they know that when you visit someone in the hospital you are suppose to bring flowers and not legal documents? Unbelievable! Outrageous! Ridiculous!
GEORGE STEINBRENNER, businessman and owner of the New York Yankees
Steinbrenner recently approved the signing of Roger Clemens as a new addition to the pitching roster of the New York Yankees. Clemens, who is 44 years old, was retired from baseball living in Texas. Clemens was a ace pitcher during his career and is bound for the Baseball Hall of Fame. Clemens agreed to come out of retirement and pitch for the final four months of the baseball season with the New York Yankees. His fee to do this was $28 Million for four months of work during which he may pitch every fifth game. Professional athletic salaries are out of control across the board; but this contract borders on the obscene. It is clear to all baseball fans that Steinbrenner is desperate to win a world series, but do you really have to make yourself look ridiculuous trying to do it? The only person laughing all the way (to the bank) will be Roger Clemens!
ANDREW SPEAKER, Attorney
Andrew Speaker was just another personal injury attorney practicing in Atlanta, Georgia until this week when he gained an international reputation for bad judgment as well as stupidity. He and his fiancee flew from Atlanta to Europe for their planned wedding and honeymoon. The only problem was that Speaker had been diagnosed with tuberculosis and advised by his physician not to fly.
When in Rome, he was contacted by U.S. public health officials confirming that he had a drug resistant strain of tuberculosis which was very dangerous and highly infectious. He was ordered not to fly but go to a Italian hospital. Instead, Speaker and his new wife left Italy and went to Prague where they flew to Montreal, Canada and then drove across the border into New York. He was subsequently apprehended and currently confined in isolation at Jewish Medical & Research Center in Denver, Colorado for treatment.
It seems that he was so fearful of being hospitalized outside the United States that he was desperate to get back home by any means. Hundreds of flight passengers and others he came into contact with are being tested for any infection. He later issued a statement saying he was "very sorry" for endangering other people. Obviously nothing was going to interfer with wedding and honeymoon plans! He may get a lot of experience in personal injury law if anyone becomes sick and infected with his disease! To add to this ridiculuous situation, his new father-in-law works at the Center for Disease Control, U.S. Public Health Service.
LEE BACA, Sheriff, Los Angeles County, California
Lee Baca became a national celebrity this week when he unexpectedly and suddenly released Paris Hilton from jail and reassigned her to house confinement at her residential estate. The Sheriff explained that he felt Paris Hilton was on the verge of a mental breakdown and therefore it was medically necessary to make the change. Paris Hilton had been sentenced to 45 days in jail (reduced to 23 days) for violating her probation on a previous drunk driving charge. She was caught twice driving without a license and had failed to enroll in an alcohol education program as dictated by her probation. She surrendered herself to the Sheriff's Department, which operates the county jail, and began her sentence on June 5th. After only three days in jail, she was reassigned to home confinement by the Sheriff because she was very depressed and verging on a mental breakdown.
Sheriff Baca should be congratulated for being a complete fool. You have to wonder how many non-celebrity individuals do not suffer from depression after being put in jail. Her only depression was the bars, barren accomodations and lack of access to makeup and perfume. Sheriff Baca has succeeded in catering to the socialite needs of a spoiled rich kid and simultaneously made a joke of the entire criminal justice process. Hopefully, the voters of the county will remember him at the next election. His actions were truly ridiculuous! Talk about bad judgement!
HARRY REID, U.S. Senate Majority Leader, Nevada (Democrat)
Harry Reid has made his name well known to the country not so much for his legislative achievements but more for his comments on the major issue of illegal immigration. Reid is a powerful and influential leader in the U.S. Congress as well as a major supporter of the pending "comprehensive immigration reform bill". In talking about his concern for handling the illegal immigration problem, Reid stated that the new legislation would bring "12 million undocumented Americans out of the shadows" in this country. What? Reid should be advised that the 12million illegal aliens are citizens of Mexico and other South American countries who have entered and lived in this country illegally. Obviously, Reid must think that anyone who gets into the country is automatically a future American citizen. According to Reid, we do not have 12 million illegal aliens in this nation. What we really have is "12 million undocumented Americans". The thinking and debate on illegal immigration has risen to a new level of insanity with one of the most powerful politicians leading the way! Senator Reid, please tell us you were only joking?
RICHARD (DICK) CHENEY, Vice-President, United States
The National Archives, an agency of the U.S. Government, has filed a complaint with the Department of Justice regarding the Vice-President's failure to comply with a presidential executive order (an order issued by his boss President Bush) for all agencies and departments within the executive branch to report all activities regarding the classification and declassification of government documents. The purpose of the executive order was to establish a uniform, government wide sysytem for sfaeguarding classified national security information.
Dick Cheney claimed that he was not required to report activity because the Office of Vice-President is not an agency within the executive branch of the government. His position centered on the rationale that even though he is the Vice-President, he is also the President of the U.S. Senate, a legislative branch. Rather than comply with the order, Cheney even considered taking action to terminate the existence of the office within the National Archives which handles this function. "No man is above the law" is a concept which Cheney has decided does not apply to him. History books will obviously have to be rewritten since most Americans have always been taught that the Vice-President is a member of the executive branch of the government. Ridiculuous!